When we understand the concept of “flourishing”, it’s easier to create strategies to feel good for longer periods of time. Flourishing can be defined as a combination of feeling good and positive functioning. Examples of “feeling good” include feeling happy, interested in life, and satisfied with life. These feelings of pleasure can be short-term unless combined with positive functioning. When we are feeling good and also experience positive functioning, we have the opportunity to flourish and enjoy sustainable well-being. Different examples of “positive functioning” include: feeling that you have something important to contribute to society, that you belong to a community (e.g., social group), that our society is a good place or is becoming a better place for all, that people are basically good, that that way our society works makes sense to you, that you like most parts of your personality, that you are good at managing the responsibilities of your daily life, that you have warm and trusting relationships with others, that you have experiences that challenge you to grow and become a better person, that you are confident to think or express your own ideas and opinions, and that your life has a sense of direction or meaning to it. If we aren’t feeling enough of the “feeling good” and “positive functioning” items, then it’s difficult to flourish in life. To create more sustainable well-being, we want to make sure that we’re not just focussing on “feeling good”; we need to also consider the variety of ways to experience “positive functioning”.

Feeling good throughout the day happens more naturally when we connect to our heart. It’s also helpful to sense our core essence. If we are only driven by the ego, then our sense of feeling good comes from external circumstances. When you are playing big on the inside, you are doing things that feel big for you! These moments are less influenced by the ego. They are more inspired by your heart! In the eyes of the ego, playing big is about the external, doing things that others can see. When you show up in ways that looks big on the outside (e.g., put yourself out there in more visible ways), you may get more recognition from others, however that doesn’t necessarily mean you are feeling fulfilled on the inside. When we increase our self-worth, it’s easier to find moments of happiness and well-being even when we’re doing things that might seem small to the outside world. For example, we could just be doing dishes at home and allowing new ideas to come through with ease. The moment may not have any glamour to it, but if we’re feeling creative energy moving through us as we continue washing those dishes, our heart may feel fully engaged and we start to feel more alive in our whole body. This can feel very big on the inside and inspire a sensation of joy!

Sometimes we may get in the way of our own joy. Many of our thoughts and actions tend to be run by the subconscious, unless we learn to practice mindful awareness. Our thoughts and beliefs that we’re unaware of can actually drive up to 90% of our day. All the deep seated stuff that we may not be aware of can act as a block. In other words, we have vibrational tendencies or patterns that can limit our flow of joy. Each of us has a set point of how much joy we allow ourselves to experience. We can commit to reset that set point. When you start to feel more joy, notice things you tend to do after…things that pull you back down to a feeling of contentment (e.g. less joy). For example, after a fulfilling conversation with someone you care about who lifts you up, do you find yourself soon after choosing to watch upsetting news or calling someone who you know will bring you back down? Or do you do things that might deplete your energy? (e.g., start doing laundry or go shopping even if you don’t feel like it, or stay up too late that night so you don’t get enough sleep). When you are feeling more joy, can you sit with that joy and sustain it for longer periods of time? After experiencing a feeling of joy, some people find themselves a few hours later getting into an argument or getting a headache, or the next day feeling sick or getting injured. The key is to consciously allow yourself to make room in your awareness for more joy. Give yourself permission to experience more openness in your chest area and more warmth in your heart centre.

Everyone sabotages to some degree. It seems to be a natural tendency. As we start to feel more joy, our subconscious reaches for safety. The subconscious wants to pull us back down to what feels more familiar. The need for struggle comes from the subconscious. We can develop resiliency skills without all the drama, striving and struggle. When we give ourselves permission to feel more ease, we open to experience more frequent moments of joy throughout our day. When we start to feel more happiness in our life, it’s important to get extra aware. You can stop the pattern of upper limiting and learn to sustain the feeling of joy longer. You don’t have to attract a feeling of worry to stay stuck in the familiar pattern. And you don’t need to attract conflict or keep bringing yourself back to a feeling of contentment. We can prevent ourselves from limiting our “joy set point”, by getting extra mindful after we start to feel more happiness inside. We can practice getting more comfortable with that feeling of joy. Hang out with your joy for a longer amount of time than what feels comfortable. Be willing to sit with your bliss beyond your regular range of happiness. Instead of peaking and then dropping, learn to ride that wave of joy and keep it higher than what your familiar joy point norm might be. We can reimagine our “new norm” as a future that includes more joy, more often, for longer periods of time.

Positive psychology researchers claim that 50% of our happiness is genetic and for the remaining 50%, 10% is circumstances and 40% is habitual thoughts, feelings, words and actions. This suggests we can reprogram our “joy set point” to focus more on an inner state of well-being that isn’t dependent on external circumstances. We can learn to experience a feeling of joy and success on the inside, even when circumstances continue to change. When we catch ourselves worrying soon after we experienced a joyful moment, that’s a sign that we are upper limiting. We’ve gone to a point that feels too joyful (more joyful than our usual range). At this point we can practice being more mindful. Stay with the joyful feeling fully and challenge yourself to stick with that feeling a bit longer than what feels comfortable. We can let go of the pattern of coming back to the subconscious need to struggle and strive.  Stick with the joyful feeling as long as you can and note what types of things you do to bring yourself back down. Or if soon after your joyful moment, someone calls you who starts complaining about something, consider if you are unconsciously attracting this in order to come back to a feeling that may be more familiar.

During the call to stay home, some people had more time for self-reflection and naturally reset their joy set point to a higher level. Others struggled more during the transition and some experienced a feeling of “languishing”. To feel good for the longer term, it helps to have a regular mindfulness practice and put the science of well-being into action. While we know there are social determinants to health and more vulnerable populations, there are benefits to considering a diversity of perspectives on wellness and this can include an individual approach to happiness. We can develop strategies to develop better habits and continue to explore multidimensional approaches to wellness to look after our mental health, social and emotional well-being. We can also take time to reflect on what happiness means to us and consider the various ways to support human flourishing. As we adjust to changing circumstances, we can set intentions to feel good more often, connect with others in new ways, and take action steps to nurture positive functioning. I offer wellness workshops and webinars on a variety of topics including “Integrating Mindfulness within our Daily Life”, “Health Education to Take Care of Your Body” and “Keys to Happier Living”. If you are interested in more info on these sessions, click Here and feel free to contact me if you have any questions. As our present future continues to unfold, we can co-create strategies to experience more joy in our daily life and long term sustainable well-being!