Looking for steps to “feel good”? Here are a few ideas. Be of service, move your body, deny the drama, practice mindfulness and connect to your intuition!

Be of Service:

If you want to feel good, do good. Helping other people is not only good for them, it’s good for us too and can even help to improve our health. You may already feel that you are doing good for others within your daily job or within your weekly responsibilities such as care-giving for family or friends. Another way to be of service is to volunteer. The social and mental activity required sends blood rushing to the prefrontal cortex – the part of the brain that is key to reasoning, problem solving, comprehension, impulse-control, creativity and perseverance. We need these executive functions when we have to focus and think, mentally play with ideas, use short-term working memory, and think before reacting in any situation.

During my time as the Assistant Manager of Fitness & Instruction with the University of Toronto Faculty of Kinesiology & Physical Education, I found a variety of ways to be of service. For example, I had the opportunity to facilitate wellness activity for U of T employees. I enjoyed leading a wellness walk on the St. George Campus and it was great to get outside, connect with the staff, and support employee engagement. In addition, I presented workshops during what we called “Sneak It In Week” (a strategy to fit in healthy activities during the work day). I also taught yoga and mindfulness classes for students, staff, faculty and community members. In addition, I enjoyed volunteering to lead wellness activity at the U of T Rotman School of Management.

At the start of the pandemic, I found virtual opportunities to be of service with the Rotman School of Management Office of Student Engagement. I facilitated a wellness webinar and virtual mindfulness classes for students completing their MBA. When I was completing my MEd at U of T, I remember how helpful it was to participate in mindfulness sessions with other students. Volunteering and collaborating with the Rotman Active Association was a great opportunity to support student engagement, online learning, and well-being.

During the holidays last year I enjoyed volunteering with the YMCA GTA to help promote donations for the Community Holiday Drive. I enjoyed reaching out to a variety of contacts, networking and making new connections. I also volunteered to teach group classes. Volunteering gave me the opportunity to apply my skills in a way that’s aligned with my passion, provide service to the members, and connect with community.

If you are exploring options to be of service, it can be helpful to bring some structure to the process. For example, you can write a list of the organizations and companies that you may want to work at and take time to write down their website, address, the department you might want to contribute to, the type of work you want to engage in, and find out the website link or contact email/phone number to inquire about their volunteer opportunities. Also make sure you feel aligned with their values before you offer to volunteer. This is the process that I engaged in when considering the places I wanted to be of service.

For example, if you want to consider volunteering for the YMCA, take time to review their vision, mission and values and see if it feels like a good fit for you! The vision is vibrant communities where everyone can shine. The YMCA GTA of Greater Toronto mission is a charity that ignites the potential in people, helping them grow, lead and give back to their community. The values include inclusiveness, integrity, kindness, optimism, respect, and well-being. To elaborate, this is how the YMCA GTA defines their values.

• Inclusiveness: We create welcoming places and programs where everyone feels they belong.
• Integrity: We are truthful, trustworthy and take responsibility for our choices, actions, and commitments.
• Kindness: We are caring and compassionate.
• Optimism: We believe in the strengths and potential in people and communities.
• Respect: We treat every person with dignity.
• Well-being: We are dedicated to people’s physical, social and mental health.

If you are interested in learning more about volunteer opportunities with the YMCA GTA, check out this link.

Move your Body, Mindfully:

Another way to feel good is to get moving, and bring mindful awareness to your movement. Engage in physical activities that you enjoy and practice being present in the moment as you move. That could be a fitness class, yoga, dance, martial arts, or going for a walk or run outside. Mindful movement isn’t necessarily low intensity, although it can be. You can be engaging in high intensity workouts and still be mindful, connected to “the here and now”. Moving more mindfully can help us get present in the moment, and this helps prevent us from dwelling on the past or worrying about the future. Being active can also improve our mood and boost our well-being!

The YMCA offers both in person-activities and virtual group fitness classes. For more info, here is the link. Another option to get moving is to participate in a group workshop. This Sunday afternoon I’ll be leading two workshops – “Moving towards a Mindful Life” and “Fit Mix: A Mindful Workout”. Click here if you are interested.

Deny the Drama (if it’s not real drama):

To feel good, it’s also helpful to avoid getting caught up in gossip, theatrical reactions (other people’s too) and negative what-if’s. Drama fires up the amygdala that gets the prefrontal cortex off its game. The amygdala can trigger a person’s fight-or-flight response. This leads to the release of hormones that prepare the body to fight the source of danger or flee from it. Amygdala hijack occurs when the amygdala activates the fight-or-flight response when there is no serious threat to a person’s safety. Of course sometimes there is real drama that we need to respond to in a caring way.

When we say “deny the drama”, that doesn’t mean all drama. We can discern when something is challenging versus real drama. If someone’s safety is being threatened and the situation requires urgent attention, immediate action is needed. If you think a friend or colleague might be suicidal, don’t deny the potential drama. Suicide prevention starts with recognizing the warning signs and taking them seriously. Child abuse also requires immediate attention. In Ontario, it’s the law to report suspected child abuse. Responding to the “Signal for Help” gesture is also the right thing to do. The signal was initially developed by the Canadian Women’s Foundation at the start of the COVID-19 pandemic, as a way for domestic violence victims to silently show they need help on a video call. The signal involves tucking in the thumb into the open palm and closing the four other fingers over the thumb. The hand gesture is just the first step to help someone out of an unsafe situation and the foundation has launched a toolkit to help people know how to respond when they see it.

Discerning potential drama is an important skill. Is your friend experiencing mental health challenges or just having a difficult day? Are they asking you for help or just a bit tired? Perhaps a day off work or taking time to see a movie might be all that is needed. Or more rest and quality sleep. Or a walk outside in nature. Or more fun times with friends and family. Or could they benefit from some wellness coaching? Or would professional counselling and other support services be more helpful? Learn how to identify when someone is experiencing a mental health challenge. Engage them in a conversation to better understand their needs and be able to respond in a caring way. Next Friday I’ll be offering a workshop titled “Mindful Mental Health Training”. For more info on this workshop, click here.

To feel good, we want to focus more on the present moment and avoid too many what-ifs. When we are planning for the future, the what-ifs can be helpful to think more strategically and play out possible scenarios to come up with plan A, B, and C.  However, when we put too much emphasis on all the what-ifs, it’s easy to get caught up in all the things that might go wrong. During the pandemic, it’s been natural for workplaces and social circles to engage in too many what-ifs that put people in a state of fear, anxiety and worry. While a bit of fear may have been helpful for some people during the pandemic (e.g., enough fear to take action steps to stay healthy and safe – such as washing their hands, practicing social distancing, and getting vaccinated), too much fear can be overwhelming and potentially impact well-being. To be more optimistic, we can take time to reflect on what’s going right in this moment, and what things might go well in the future?

To deny the drama (when it’s not real drama), we need to accept the fact that change happens. Too often things get overdramatized when they really don’t need to be. Many people have decided to make a career change during the pandemic. If your co-worker is taking time off work to do their own thing for a while, perhaps they just needed a break or some space to explore new options. If they end up working at a different organization, perhaps they just felt ready for a change. Or after reflecting on their values, their priorities shifted a bit and they found a new opportunity that felt like a better fit. It doesn’t need to be so dramatic. We can practice non-judgement and avoid all the gossip.

If you catch yourself getting caught up in gossip or theatrical reactions with colleagues or friends, simply pause and pay attention to your breath, notice your thoughts and feelings in that moment, and think of one thing that you’re grateful for. Instead of gossiping or dramatizing, find ways to express your gratitude! Every day find one thing you appreciate in your life and share your gratitude with others. Being grateful increases positive emotions which then activates the prefrontal cortex.

Practice Mindfulness:

We can train our brain to be more mindful. Practicing mindfulness meditation regularly helps us become more aware of the conversations we are tuning into. In addition, it helps prevent us from getting caught up in the drama. We start to notice how we are feeling when we are reading things that may not represent truth. It’s important to remember that not everything we see, hear and read is true. Things can easily get exaggerated, distorted, and twisted around, and this can all happen quickly. Also, not everything we think is true. Question your thoughts and what others say, question reference points, do your research, and practice discernment. If you are interested in joining us this Saturday morning for a workshop on “Integrating Mindfulness throughout the Day”, click here and let me know your interest.

Connect to your Intuition:

Also pay attention to your intuition and what feels good for you! What activities give you a sense of joy and fulfillment? Which people in your life lift you up and make you feel good? What motivates you to jump out of bed and face the world everyday? Connect to your intuition and it can guide you to make choices that help you feel good more often. When we first start practicing mindfulness or when we first start connecting to our intuition, initially we may have a few moments that don’t feel good. Sometimes the process of getting present in the moment and connecting to our deepest feelings can be a bit disturbing, particularly if we don’t like the insight and “aha” moments that start to come through. However, as we nurture our intuition and start listening to it more often, it truly can help us navigate our life forward in a way that feels good long term.

Notice when your intuition is coming through clearly, from the right place. Remember that gut instincts are not always correct as they sometimes come from a place of fear. When your intuition is speaking to you clearly, you’ll know, you’ll feel it, and you may feel it in entire body. You’ve probably heard that expression, “Get out of your head and into your body”. Well, I disagree. Be in your body, and get in your body more fully, but don’t get out of your head completely. Stay in your rational brain, keep you mind engaged, connect your brain and your heart, relax your forehead, stay alert, sense your “whole body” from your feet to the top of your head, take time to notice your thoughts and feelings as they come and go, and keep coming back to the present moment. The more you practice doing this, you may feel yourself dropping into your “embodied mind”, a place where you can clearly “tune in”, connect to your intuition and sense what feels good for you!

If you are interested in more ways to feel good, this Saturday afternoon I’ll be offering virtual coaching sessions integrating health and fitness training, mindful practices, and wellness education. Click here to show your interest.