Get ready to redefine happiness on March 20th, the International Day of Happiness. What makes you happy? What sparks joy in your life? Looking at the ocean or a lake makes me feel happy! Yet happiness is not a place. It can come & go, like a wave!
I present workshops on Happier Living for a variety of organizations. We reflect on the keys to happier living based on scientific research relating to happiness and we also address the limitations of pursuing an individual approach to happiness. We discuss ways to broaden our understanding of resiliency and talk about why “bounce back” doesn’t work for everyone & what we can do about it. We also explore strategies to inspire flourishing-feeling good & positive functioning for sustainable well-being!
Research has found that no matter what happens to us in life, many people return to a fixed range of happiness; it’s like we have a happy set point that remains the same unless we make an intentional effort to change it. Do you agree? Have you found that you come back to a certain set point of happiness even through the natural ups and downs of life? After adjusting to a physical disability, there are people who say they eventually returned to their original happiness level. After being diagnosed with cancer, people who have successful surgeries and become cancer survivors sometimes later report an energetic awakening with a similar level of happiness as they experienced before the diagnosis. Of course there are exceptions; some people who are depressed never bounce back to their happy set point.
On the other hand, people who experience big break throughs, often find a way to unconsciously sabotage their success; they get into an argument soon after or have an accident or get sick or experience some other type of negative event to bring them back down to the upper limit that they are more comfortable with. Within a year, lottery winners tend to return to the same level of happiness that they experienced before the win. When we attain higher levels of success, we human beings often create personal dramas in our lives that cloud our world with unhappiness to prevent us from enjoying our enhanced success. Whatever the experience, positive or negative, there’s a tendency to return to our happy set point. In a previous blog, I talked about this upper limit concept and it’s a topic worth repeating!
In the workshops that I facilitate on happier living, we share ideas on how to reprogram our happy set-point to a higher state of well-being. Instead of dropping down to our familiar zone of happiness where we are comfortable and safe, we help each other brainstorm ways to change this pattern so we can consciously practice letting ourselves enjoy moments of happiness for an extended period of time. We chat about strategies to allow that wave of happiness to last a bit longer and mindful techniques to invite more frequent waves of happiness into our lives. The key is to focus on an inner state of well-being that isn’t dependent on external circumstances. Through awareness, we can catch ourselves each time we start to upper limit and recommit to sustain our happy moment longer the next time we rise above our fixed range. Instead of peaking then dropping, through intentional practices, we can learn to ride that wave of happiness and keep it higher than our norm.
My role as an educator on happier living is not to be a wellness authority or expert. Leading interactive workshops on happier living requires a holding of the space for the diverse knowledge, expertise and experiences in the room. The word happy, happiness & happier can be triggering. Just talking about happiness can make someone feel unhappy. I understand that the best facilitators talk with the participants, not at them. It’s important to me for everyone to feel comfortable sharing their own lived experiences around feeling happy or unhappy. Participants usually want to feel heard and seen, and when they share ideas they tend to feel more engaged. I do my best to create a safe space in which participants feel welcome to share their thoughts & feelings without judgement. While I share the latest data on happiness, I encourage reflective conversation and acknowledge that I am learning too. I listen more than I speak and value each person’s input. I appreciate the variety of perspectives and we learn from each other.
There are frameworks that we can integrate to help get the conversation going. For example, the GREAT DREAM Ten Keys to Happier Living: Giving, Relating, Exercising, Awareness, Trying Out, Direction, Resilience, Emotions, Acceptance & Meaning. This includes doing kind things for others, connecting with people, taking care of our body, living life mindfully, learning new things, having goals to look forward, finding ways to bounce back, looking for what’s good & being comfortable with who we are. How do you feel about this? In my workshops, you have the opportunity to question and challenge research findings and to respectfully share what rings true for you!
Each time I present, the workshop continues to evolve. Group dynamics change & new insights get shared. To be happy has a unique meaning for each of us. Sometimes I get the participants to break out into small groups or into pairs and ask each other several times, “What makes you happy?” The more times they respond, the more they get surprised by their answers. Often at least one person will challenge the whole process of looking at the research related to happiness. The question is, do you really need data on what makes you happy? Can we not put more emphasis on our intuition? Are we not our own experts on the happiness in our lives? In addition to the latest findings related to happiness, we consider each other’s input as well as our own intuitive guidance & together come up with practical action steps to support happier living!
Join my next workshop on happier living March 20th! Fill out the contact form to let me know your interest!
